FIC: Sound Investments
Mar. 12th, 2009 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gmtaslashTitle: Sound Investments
Author: Trojie andineptshieldmaid
Fandom: Narnia, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: We claim no ownership of the Narnia characters or settings; the only right we claim is the right to be completely insane.
Summary: The relative merits of different sources of income for a kingdom are discussed ... More crack. Same characterisations, more or less, as Artistic License.
Once Eustace had disappeared below decks, Edmund and Lucy followed King Caspian and Captain Drinian up to the prow of the ship, where they could lean on the rail and watch the Dawn Treader cutting into the waves. The prow rose and fell, the wind whipped all of their hair forward into their eyes, and, all things considered, it was splendid to be back in Narnia.
"Tell me," said Lucy, running an admiring finger over a rail. "How much did she cost to build?"
"Probably more than she ought," admitted Caspian, looking over the dragon figurehead with a besotted look on his face.
"Ships are always expensive," Edmund mused, looking out towards the Eastern horizon. '"You remember the trouble we had commissioning the Splendour Hyaline and what a fuss Peter made over it, what with that campaign he'd mounted the year before and all. I mean, we need them and all, but ..."
"I know," said Lucy. "They really can be a tremendous drain on the kingdom's resources."
"But they bring income as well," argued Caspian, slightly defensively. "Exploration, trade, conquest, even...."
"They do have that potential," allowed Lucy. "But really, for the outlay, they're hardly economical until you've sorted out everyone else for miles around, and men get so competitive about the size of their armadas."
"Well, what would you suggest, m'lady?" asked Captain Drinian, who had been watching this exchange with a strained look upon his weatherbeaten seafarer's face.
"Brothels are a much sounder investment than ships, I've found," said Lucy decisively. "Whores seldom sink, even when boarded by pirates."
There was a brief pause while Caspian turned pink and coughed, and Drinian had to cover his mouth with one hand, in what might have been embarrassment but was probably a manful struggle not to laugh.
"Don't choke," Edmund said, patting Caspian on the back. "It isn't regal."
Captain Drinian, shoulders shaking a little, addressed Lucy: "But, your Majesty, ships, despite their inherent risks, are a great contribution to a nation's reputation. Brothels, I'm sure you understand, do not."
"On the contrary," Edmund said, giving Caspian's shoulder one last lingering pat. "Lucy set up a chain of brothels which were extremely well-regarded the world over."
Caspian's ears went flaming red, and Drinian's snort suggested that he did not entirely believe this assertion.
"Oh, no, Ed," Lucy hastened to correct him. "I didn't set them up!"
"Sponsored, then."
"Sponsored, if you like. And Susan had a lot to do with it, too."
Caspian's blush, Edmund noted, had now reached as far as his elbows.
"Didn't Peter get the military boycott going?" Edmund asked. "It's so hard to remember." He hadn't thought Caspian's face could get any redder, but it did.
"Oh, yes," Lucy assured him. "We put the Telmarine pimps out of business in every garrison town. I never did find out what happened with the molly houses, though," she added, thoughtfully. "One day, they were doing a flourishing trade, the last pimp-run brothels in Paravel, and the next, there was that big house down by the docks, running as a co-operative right next to the first co-operative whorehouse. What was that place called again?"
"The Silk Letter," Edmund answered, promptly, and then felt his own ears go red as Caspian and Drinian's eyes fell on him. "Marvellous, wasn't it? I suppose the idea was just catching."
"I suppose so," Lucy said, but Edmund could have sworn she smirked at him.
Author: Trojie and
ineptshieldmaidFandom: Narnia, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: We claim no ownership of the Narnia characters or settings; the only right we claim is the right to be completely insane.
Summary: The relative merits of different sources of income for a kingdom are discussed ... More crack. Same characterisations, more or less, as Artistic License.
Once Eustace had disappeared below decks, Edmund and Lucy followed King Caspian and Captain Drinian up to the prow of the ship, where they could lean on the rail and watch the Dawn Treader cutting into the waves. The prow rose and fell, the wind whipped all of their hair forward into their eyes, and, all things considered, it was splendid to be back in Narnia.
"Tell me," said Lucy, running an admiring finger over a rail. "How much did she cost to build?"
"Probably more than she ought," admitted Caspian, looking over the dragon figurehead with a besotted look on his face.
"Ships are always expensive," Edmund mused, looking out towards the Eastern horizon. '"You remember the trouble we had commissioning the Splendour Hyaline and what a fuss Peter made over it, what with that campaign he'd mounted the year before and all. I mean, we need them and all, but ..."
"I know," said Lucy. "They really can be a tremendous drain on the kingdom's resources."
"But they bring income as well," argued Caspian, slightly defensively. "Exploration, trade, conquest, even...."
"They do have that potential," allowed Lucy. "But really, for the outlay, they're hardly economical until you've sorted out everyone else for miles around, and men get so competitive about the size of their armadas."
"Well, what would you suggest, m'lady?" asked Captain Drinian, who had been watching this exchange with a strained look upon his weatherbeaten seafarer's face.
"Brothels are a much sounder investment than ships, I've found," said Lucy decisively. "Whores seldom sink, even when boarded by pirates."
There was a brief pause while Caspian turned pink and coughed, and Drinian had to cover his mouth with one hand, in what might have been embarrassment but was probably a manful struggle not to laugh.
"Don't choke," Edmund said, patting Caspian on the back. "It isn't regal."
Captain Drinian, shoulders shaking a little, addressed Lucy: "But, your Majesty, ships, despite their inherent risks, are a great contribution to a nation's reputation. Brothels, I'm sure you understand, do not."
"On the contrary," Edmund said, giving Caspian's shoulder one last lingering pat. "Lucy set up a chain of brothels which were extremely well-regarded the world over."
Caspian's ears went flaming red, and Drinian's snort suggested that he did not entirely believe this assertion.
"Oh, no, Ed," Lucy hastened to correct him. "I didn't set them up!"
"Sponsored, then."
"Sponsored, if you like. And Susan had a lot to do with it, too."
Caspian's blush, Edmund noted, had now reached as far as his elbows.
"Didn't Peter get the military boycott going?" Edmund asked. "It's so hard to remember." He hadn't thought Caspian's face could get any redder, but it did.
"Oh, yes," Lucy assured him. "We put the Telmarine pimps out of business in every garrison town. I never did find out what happened with the molly houses, though," she added, thoughtfully. "One day, they were doing a flourishing trade, the last pimp-run brothels in Paravel, and the next, there was that big house down by the docks, running as a co-operative right next to the first co-operative whorehouse. What was that place called again?"
"The Silk Letter," Edmund answered, promptly, and then felt his own ears go red as Caspian and Drinian's eyes fell on him. "Marvellous, wasn't it? I suppose the idea was just catching."
"I suppose so," Lucy said, but Edmund could have sworn she smirked at him.
