IF EVERYTHING YOU READ IN NARNIASLASH WERE TRUE...

[gmtaslash]

Title: If Everything You Read In Narniaslash Were True
Author: gmtaslash
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Rating: PG (language)
Summary: CRAAAAAACK. Written by Trojie whilst delirious with the 'flu and heavily based on what might be called the main trends of the Narniaslash LJ community.



CASPIAN: Go me! I'm totally the most sexually experienced!

PETER: I'm confused. Caspian is, like, so hot-

CASPIAN: That's right, bitch-

PETER: But there's something totally alluring about Edmund...

EDMUND: I was, like, gay back in Narnia when I was a king. I had just tons and tons of lovers. Me and Caspian are so going to be gettin' it on on the Dawn Treader. And me and Peter are so going to be gettin' it on in boarding school.

CASPIAN: (musing) Maybe I'll shag both of them? And Susan on the side, cos, like, she's also totally hot for me. Cranky, though.

SUSAN: (singing) I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother- hang on, I was Queen Susan the GENTLE, you horny perverts!

LUCY: Don't worry, Su, you're always gentle with me.

SUSAN: You're, like, six years old. And my sister. And SO TOTALLY HOT! Wait...whut?

EVERYONE BUT LUCY: Lucy, you're too young for this conversation. Go play with your lion!

EXEUNT LUCY, STAGE LEFT, MUTTERING

LUCY: Serve them all right if someone DOES write Aslan/Lucy crackfic...

EDMUND: She does have a point, y'know. About the femmeslash.

CASPIAN: (has obviously forgotten that there are others in the room) Femmeslash FTW!

***

Trojie's note: I think I might be delirious now ...

Comments

[elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com]

EVERYONE BUT LUCY: Lucy, you're too young for this conversation. Go play with your lion!

*has just about died laughing* (Precious childhood memories? Why do I need precious childhood memories when I can have cracky slash?) :D

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

I have precious childhood memories too. I wrote this because the Narnia Slash comm on LJ is kinda making me go EEEK! at the amount of RP and incest slash they have and it all sort of went crazy in my brain.

[elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com]

Just wait until they get to Voyage of the Dawn Treader - Edmund, Lucy, Caspian (whose name I almost misspelled as Capsicum, alas) and a boatload of Telmarine sailors. And Reepicheep.

Aslan help us all. (Oh, wait, he's there too.) XD

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Glod almight, it's going to be dreadful, isn't it. The Department of Bad Slash is bracing itself, never fear.

[anjilly.livejournal.com]

XD Hilarious. *wanders off to catch breath after all that laughing*

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

*is proud*

[ansela-jonla.livejournal.com]

Eek, I'm going to go watch this today and all I'm going to be able to think about is the slashability of the guys. Damn you Trojie.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Do tell me how it goes. I'm dying to see it again, but can't justify spending the cash to see it at the theatre again. The DVD release better be soon!

They are SO slashable. Don't fight it, Ansela. Give in. Giiiiive iiiiiiin to the Daaaark Siiiiiiide