More Narnia silliness.
Jul. 21st, 2008 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gmtaslashTitle: LOTR/Narnia Roundtable Discussion: The Female Role Model in Epic Fantasy
Author:gmtaslash
Fandom: LotR / Narnia
Rating: PG
ARWEN: Now, as you all know, we're here to discuss which of us is the best female role model.
SUSAN: In which case, why are you here? Your sole purpose was to provide angst. That's hardly a good example to set small girls.
ARWEN: (with dignity) I did save Frodo. And raise the river Bruinen.
SUSAN: Only in the movie version.
ARWEN: Well, if we're getting into it, you forsook your principles for lipstick!
SUSAN: *fumes* Does everyone have to be so LITERAL?
EOWYN: I agree with Arwen. Narnian women were hardly that exemplary. You didn't even fight properly.
SUSAN: Oh, you mean with a big butch sword? I probably killed a damn sight more enemies with my bow than you ever did with that meat-cleaver.
EOWYN: I beg your pardon, I saved the day with that meat-cleaver! At least I was in the battle, facing danger!
LUCY: (almost to herself) I did, y'know, ride into enemy territory alone to find the ally that would help us win the battle ...
SUSAN: Yes, because the archers' ranks were really safe when we were facing Telmarines with siege weapons! Anyway, you say I gave up my principles for lipstick, but at least I wasn't married off just 'cause my old crush told me to! Can't have all these warrior women flapping around loose without supervisory males! Who knows what they'd get up to!
EOWYN: You leave Faramir out of this!
SUSAN: I'm buggered if I will, if you're not going to leave out the lipstick thing. I mean, anyone would think you'd not got the point that the whole thing was an illustration of my loss of faith, not of some kind of vapid girliness.
ARWEN: I think you're all forgetting the essential point that motherhood is still an important role for women in society, and shouldn't be marginalised. And I was, like, totally a fantastic mum.
JADIS: So, what you're in fact saying is that your entire worth to the narrative and to the history of your world was as a baby-factory?
ARWEN: (blinkety-blink) ... I was more than a baby-factory. I was ... a help-meet. Aragorn couldn't have managed without me. Maybe I didn't turn the tide of warfare in an epic battle, but I helped reunite the long-sundered line of Earendil, right? That's worth something.
JADIS: Yes, that's exactly what we want to say to little girls; cherish your ovaries, one day they may help make history. Intelligence? Ability to think in a fix? Ability to defend yourself? Don't worry, a nice man will marry you and supply all those things while you get on and maintain your fertile womb.
EXIT ARWEN, stage left, in tears.
SUSAN: That was nasty.
JADIS: What did you expect? I'm evil. And she was really getting on my nerves.
LUCY: (mumbles) And I did go onto battlefields practically unarmed and alone to succour the wounded...
JADIS: Anyway, I'm clearly the best female role model here.
EOWYN: How on earth do you figure that one out?
JADIS: I ruled a country for one hundred years all on my own, I fought in battles as myself, without any of this crossdressing nonsense, and not staying back amongst the archers, either. I was an empowered female character!
SUSAN: (slowly, as if talking to a moron) But you were EVIL.
JADIS: That's only a matter of perspective ...
(at this point the 'discussion' degenerates into a downright screaming row about good versus evil. Caspian and Boromir are trying to peek in through the tinted windows of the boardroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of a threeway catfight. Lucy is still sitting in her seat)
LUCY: (sotto voce) And I did face down an entire army armed with only a knife ...
Author:
gmtaslashFandom: LotR / Narnia
Rating: PG
ARWEN: Now, as you all know, we're here to discuss which of us is the best female role model.
SUSAN: In which case, why are you here? Your sole purpose was to provide angst. That's hardly a good example to set small girls.
ARWEN: (with dignity) I did save Frodo. And raise the river Bruinen.
SUSAN: Only in the movie version.
ARWEN: Well, if we're getting into it, you forsook your principles for lipstick!
SUSAN: *fumes* Does everyone have to be so LITERAL?
EOWYN: I agree with Arwen. Narnian women were hardly that exemplary. You didn't even fight properly.
SUSAN: Oh, you mean with a big butch sword? I probably killed a damn sight more enemies with my bow than you ever did with that meat-cleaver.
EOWYN: I beg your pardon, I saved the day with that meat-cleaver! At least I was in the battle, facing danger!
LUCY: (almost to herself) I did, y'know, ride into enemy territory alone to find the ally that would help us win the battle ...
SUSAN: Yes, because the archers' ranks were really safe when we were facing Telmarines with siege weapons! Anyway, you say I gave up my principles for lipstick, but at least I wasn't married off just 'cause my old crush told me to! Can't have all these warrior women flapping around loose without supervisory males! Who knows what they'd get up to!
EOWYN: You leave Faramir out of this!
SUSAN: I'm buggered if I will, if you're not going to leave out the lipstick thing. I mean, anyone would think you'd not got the point that the whole thing was an illustration of my loss of faith, not of some kind of vapid girliness.
ARWEN: I think you're all forgetting the essential point that motherhood is still an important role for women in society, and shouldn't be marginalised. And I was, like, totally a fantastic mum.
JADIS: So, what you're in fact saying is that your entire worth to the narrative and to the history of your world was as a baby-factory?
ARWEN: (blinkety-blink) ... I was more than a baby-factory. I was ... a help-meet. Aragorn couldn't have managed without me. Maybe I didn't turn the tide of warfare in an epic battle, but I helped reunite the long-sundered line of Earendil, right? That's worth something.
JADIS: Yes, that's exactly what we want to say to little girls; cherish your ovaries, one day they may help make history. Intelligence? Ability to think in a fix? Ability to defend yourself? Don't worry, a nice man will marry you and supply all those things while you get on and maintain your fertile womb.
EXIT ARWEN, stage left, in tears.
SUSAN: That was nasty.
JADIS: What did you expect? I'm evil. And she was really getting on my nerves.
LUCY: (mumbles) And I did go onto battlefields practically unarmed and alone to succour the wounded...
JADIS: Anyway, I'm clearly the best female role model here.
EOWYN: How on earth do you figure that one out?
JADIS: I ruled a country for one hundred years all on my own, I fought in battles as myself, without any of this crossdressing nonsense, and not staying back amongst the archers, either. I was an empowered female character!
SUSAN: (slowly, as if talking to a moron) But you were EVIL.
JADIS: That's only a matter of perspective ...
(at this point the 'discussion' degenerates into a downright screaming row about good versus evil. Caspian and Boromir are trying to peek in through the tinted windows of the boardroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of a threeway catfight. Lucy is still sitting in her seat)
LUCY: (sotto voce) And I did face down an entire army armed with only a knife ...
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-20 11:26 pm (UTC)And poor Lucy. She rode into battle with Edmund during The Horse and His Boy, and they don't even LISTEN to her! What does age have to do with anything?
Of course, the mention of Caspian and Boromir at the window is making me picture the masculine version of all this... *hint, hint* (Though I imagine it'd more likely dissolve into a drinking game.)
*hugs* Fun! Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 04:36 am (UTC)Love this. ^^
...For some reason it makes me want to do comparisons in some of the fandoms I'm in. :p
no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 06:48 am (UTC)LUCY: (sotto voce) And I did face down an entire army armed with only a knife ...
Well, that and a loaded lion. :D
no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 07:22 am (UTC)Gank the icon if you want :)
no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 11:48 pm (UTC)