FIC: The Art of Subtlety

[gmtaslash]

Title: The Art of Subtlety
Author: gmtaslash, principally Bridget
Rating: PG
Summary: The Pevensies reminisce about the good old days. Confessions are made.
Disclaimer: Totally not ours, Lewis is God, the usual.
Notes: The last three lines have been popping up in Bridget's brain repeatedly for days. They demanded to be written. She apologises wholeheartedly for the implications herein.
Podficced here by Trojie.



It was just possible, Edmund considered, that he might have had a little bit too much to drink.

He kept forgetting that he wasn't an adult any more, hadn't been for quite some time now, and his tolerance wasn't quite what it had been when he was King Edmund. Nor, apparently, was his appreciation of discretion, although that could be down to the drink.

'Go on,' Peter encouraged him from across the kitchen table, pouring out more whiskey. 'I told you about all my illicit trysts.'

'I knew anyway,' Edmund said, knocking back another drink and grinning. 'Discretion never was your strong suit.'

'That's not true!' Peter said hotly.

'It really is, you know,' Lucy interrupted, suppressing a smile. Edmund nodded solemnly.

'I bet you didn't know about -' Peter stopped and frowned, trying to remember - 'that Dryad, at the feast for the envoy from -'

'From Archenland?' Edmund interrupted.

'In that little cupboard off the kitchens,' Lucy added.

'Damn.' Peter slumped, and raised his glass to his lips. 'Well, what about that Tarkheena?'

'The one who nearly caused the Diplomatic Incident?' Lucy asked.

'It's a good thing the Centaurs' knowledge extends to abortifacients,' Edmund said. 'And that was on a river boat, just outside Tashbaan.'

'And she said you'd ruined her forever.'

'Yes, but that was before the Incident,' Edmund reminded his sister, trying not to laugh at Peter's expression of growing horror.

'I'm sure she got back into the habit of the Calormene fashion eventually.'

'There was a Calormene fashion?' Peter spluttered. He spotted the identical grins on his siblings' faces, and glared. 'You're having me on. How dare you mock the High King so?'

'It's not our fault you make it so easy,' Edmund pointed out with a smirk. 'Any more little incidents you think we're ignorant of?'

'The Governor of the Lone Island's daughter?' said Peter, tentatively.

'The one Susan had to have the talk with afterwards?' said Edmund.

'Ooh, yes, and then the next night there were those two chambermaids,' said Lucy. She giggled. 'Face it, Peter, you can't hide anything from us.'

'You're changing the subject, anyway,' Peter retorted, reaching for the bottle again. Edmund held his glass out for more, vaguely aware that he was going to regret this in the morning. 'Come on, Ed, let's have it. Who caught your eye?'

'None of the ladies in the Golden Age did,' Edmund said, entirely truthfully. Lucy kicked him under the table. 'Ow!'

'Go on, Ed. It's high time you told him,' she said.

'Told me what?' Peter demanded.

'Someone certainly caught his eye on the Dawn Treader,' Lucy whispered conspiratorially. 'Ask him who.'

Peter frowned again. 'But there weren't any ladies on the Dawn Treader,' he said. 'Except you.'

'Peter! Don't be so revolting.'

The High King gave his brother a perplexed stare. 'Then who?'

Edmund blushed, and wouldn't meet his eye. 'Caspian,' he eventually muttered. In the resounding silence that followed, he became aware that Peter had gone awfully red in the face.

'But he's - well, a he, for a start.'

'Yes, I did notice that, but by then it was a bit too late, if you know what I mean.'

'Ed!' Lucy exclaimed, kicking him again. 'Don't be mean.'

'You knew about this?' Peter asked, turning to face her. 'You told her?' he added, glancing at Edmund.

'She guessed, really.'

'Not that you were terribly subtle,' Lucy pointed out.

'But that's - that's disgusting!' Peter said, raising his voice. 'Don't you think so, Lu?' he asked, appealing to her for support.

'Not really,' she said with a smile. 'Mr Tumnus taught me to be very open-minded.'

Edmund wondered if it were possible for his brother's face to go any redder. Peter was gaping wordlessly, grasping desperately for a suitable response. Good old Lu, Edmund thought. She always did have a knack for distracting attention from him.

'You and Mr Tumnus?' Peter managed at last, sounding rather strangled. 'That's - But he's -'

'Actually, our love was very sweet,' Lucy said gravely. 'We never - you know.'

'Damn' glad to hear it,' Peter interrupted with a snort.

'Because really,' she continued in a distant voice, smiling indulgently at the memory, 'the logistics were a nightmare.'

Comments

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Pads, you WIN.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Doesn't she just? *is proud*

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

Why thank you. :D

I actually have a really angsty version of this scene floating about my head too, but whether than will ever be written remains to be seen.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

as I said: bring on the depressing fic?

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

Possibly. It might turn out to be ridiculous wank, I don't know. Further consideration is needed. Mostly because the scene in my head involves a bloody great row between Peter and Edmund.

[lady-rilwen.livejournal.com]

Heeheehee...this is great.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

glad you liked it :)

[ansela-jonla.livejournal.com]

Pads, this is awesome. I think I am going to have to invest in a cushion to place beneath my chair for when I read youe fics, to lessen the impact of falling off.

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

See? You can leave nice reviews longer than two words!

[sedri.livejournal.com]

*BURSTS out laughing* Yes, yes, yes! Oh, after that last mission of yours... yes, this was very much needed. Very much.

And King Peter the Player. *snort* I'm not sure whether to feel sorry for him or laugh even harder.

*applause!*

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

Poor Peter. He likes to think he's a player, sure. He just doesn't realise how much his baby siblings are sniggering at his indiscretions. In the meantime, I'm just proud of myself for managing to work the word "abortifacients" into a Narnia fic, of all things.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

His siblings... and a hell of a lot of other people, I'll bet. *sniggers*

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Well he's a big strapping lad, head full of blond hair, big blue eyes ... EVERY bugger in court is watching him! And probably plotting ways to do in the last person he wandered suspiciously aimlessly off with.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

Ah! You have uncovered the motive behind that Nefarious Plot which is sweeping through Narnian Golden Age fics! THEY ALL WANT PETER MOS- er, PEVENSIE!

*slaps fangirls*

And being High King, of course, he could have practically anyone.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Could have ... and probably did.

The Peter in my head is a womaniser, can you tell?

[sedri.livejournal.com]

I think so. :P Do I see another funnyfic on the horizon? *is hopeful*

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you're lucky ...

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Oh...oh dear... Oh dear. Heh.

[babydraco.livejournal.com]

You know, I always figured Peter would be the one who'd handle something like this the worst. Especially if it was his brother who turned out to like guys. Wondering desperately where he went wrong, or assuming Edmund couldn't want it on his own, etc.

The Peter in my head has very conventional ideas about manliness :\

I wouldn't mind seeing the angsty version too. I'd like to see someone write a good version of it and I think you could do that.

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

He's the most conventional of the lot, to my mind. As you probably guessed, since my Susan's a master of feminine wiles, my Edmund is madly in angsty love with Caspian, and my Lucy, er, likes Fauns. He's also a grade a pillock, which is why I like embarrassing him and making him look a fool. (Whoops. That's what they call character bashing, isn't it?)

I'll do my best to write the angsty version someday soon, but my ability to write is fairly sporadic, so we may be waiting a while.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

I don't think that qualifies as character "bashing", exactly. Bashing would be outright cruelty - saying he's a pillock and making fun of his pillock-ness would only offend the hardcore fanbrats.

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

True. Although how he can have hardcore fans... I'm really looking forward to

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True. Although how he can have hardcore fans... I'm really looking forward to <i.Dawn Treader</i>, if only so I'll be able to get through an entire Narnia film without having to shout "Pillock!" at the telly every ten minutes.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

*shrug* I don't understand fanbrats, and have given up trying. But they're good for throwing marshmellows at! *is in a wicked mood*

[jennjenn724.livejournal.com]

I love it when Edmund has to come out to Peter in fics. Peter just always strikes me as so stiff, you know.

And I like your mischievous little Lucy, by the way. Good fic!

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Glad you liked!